I know, this may sound a bit strange: we’re talking about authenticity and unique code. Is there a place for pretense? Turns out, yes, there is. That’s why people go to counseling, hypnosis therapists, psychics and read self-help books. That’s why there is depression, suicides, burnout, alcoholism, and breast augmentation! There is self-awareness and there’s also acting like a pawn-in-a-herd/consumerist/sleep-walker (you name it). The Not-Self/ Shadow Self is that part of you that was conceived as a result of your mind trying to control your life and became what you falsely perceive as Your Self.
Hmmm. What?
Bodygraph has nine centers that together create the archetype of humanity.
Each of these centers can be colored in (fixed, defined) meaning it’s activated and has a fixed frequency or not (undefined, open) which means it’s not active every second. Whether it’s colored-in or not depends on your unique blueprint.
Colored-in or defined centers are fixing what you transmit out into the world; this is where you influence others; it always stays with you – expressed uniquely.
Open centers, or white and undefined, are centers where you are being influenced by others; this is where you are vulnerable to the outside influence. This is where fears, insecurities and a sense of lack live.
Our mind, often the ‘I’ that we perceive as ‘myself’ is not comfortable with being influenced from the outside and all the vulnerability that comes with it.
That voice in our head that thinks it knows what is good for us, comes up with strategies on how to deal with and avoid that pressure from the outside. Over time, we start making decisions based on what this smart and sneaky strategist in our heads tells us to do, ignoring what is truly correct for us.
That’s how the Not-Self comes to existence. To maintain its existence (not yours!!) the Not-Self pushes us to make false decisions and leads us to a false life, or living in denial. Unless we become aware of all the Not-Self strategies, there is little or no access to the power within us – fixed energies. And ourselves as a whole.
The extremely important part of listening to your body to make decisions is the ability to observe the Not-Self (which isn’t that hard because it’s mostly screaming in our heads!) because it’s the very thing that distracts you from making decisions based on your true body signals that never lie.
Observing is a way of self-awareness.
Self-awareness example: my Not-Self has been telling me that I should start promoting myself as a Human Design specialist as soon as possible! There are so many guides who are only in their experiment for a couple of years and they have thousands of followers! What are you waiting for? Take action! Yes, I could, but when I act on what this voice my head tells me – it’s not me who takes action. It’s somebody else. While my not Self was screaming, my intuition was silent. The Not-Self pushes us into experiences that take us off our unique geometry in space and ultimately lead us to a dead-end.
It’s possible, of course, to start the Human Design analyses by looking at what is defined in the bodygraph and what beauty, talents and purpose are laid out in each individual. But too often than not, all those recourses are covered with layers and layers of dust – lies our mind tells us. Antuan Exupery said: “You know you’ve reached perfection in design not when there’s nothing else to add, but when there’s nothing else to cut away.”
Counselors spend years unveiling the strategies of our Not-Selves and then try to release, fix, or eradicate them. The thing is there is nothing to fix.
You become aware of how these strategies are played out in your daily life and when making decisions, you stick with your inner authority. The Not-Self is impossible to get rid of, but once you see the open centers as lecture auditoriums, they become places of wisdom… Have I told you that understanding your design and reconnecting with your form takes years? 🙂
The Not-Self of the Nine Centers: practice
A great tactic to catch the Not-Self traps is to ask yourself questions for each open center theme at the moment of compromise, when you are being pressured to betray yourself (for example, saying yes to a job that isn’t exactly what you were looking for). The questions will bring you awareness of where exactly the pretense is coming from within your body. Write down the questions for the open centers you have in your bodygraph and check in with them often to develop daily mindfulness.
Open Head Center (on the very top) – Am I thinking too much about things that don’t matter? Whose questions am I trying to answer?
Open Ajna Center (the way you are thinking) – Am I pretending to be 100% certain about what I think and the way I think? Am I trying to prove my certainty no matter what?
Open Throat Center – Am I trying to attract more attention? Do I stop talking when necessary?
Open Ego/Will Center – What am I trying to prove? (Am I trying to prove that I am smart, beautiful, worthy, successful, that I can get anything I want?..)
Open G Center – Am I stuck looking for love, identity, and direction in life?
Open Solar Plexus/Emotional Center – Am I Trying to avoid truth and confrontation?
Open Sacral Center – Do I know when enough is enough? Do I know when to stop? Do I go to bed before I am exhausted?
Open Splenic Center – Do I hold on to things that no longer serve me? (job, relationship, the place of living, bad habits)
Open Root Center – Am I trying to get things done to free myself of pressure to do things?
So, we aren’t acting out of what our controlling mind tells us to do. How do we take action then?